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[] FurMass Team Captain O'Toole Hacked by Roommate

Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 7:32 am
by BigCed
FurMass Team Captain O’Toole Hacked by Roommate
By Chase Foxberg, FSPN Boston

Last Thursday, a controversial tweet was sent from the Twitter account of FurMass basketball team captain Terry O’Toole. The tweet in question was directed at FMZ Sports and suggested that O’Toole had a tip for the tabloid, one connecting Seattle Summit bigfur Jake Turner to performance enhancing drugs.

That night, after “a thorough search” of his son’s dorm, Terry’s father Cedric O’Toole, known as a sports radio host and sportswriter, reported to Amherst Police that his son’s phone had been stolen. He informed police that Terry’s roommate, FurMass backup center Richard Sanchez, should be considered the prime suspect.

The next day, Sanchez surrendered to police and was charged with petty theft and identity fraud. He is expected to plead guilty on both counts. In addition, FurMass announced Sanchez has lost his athletic scholarship and will no longer be allowed to enroll at the state college.

In a statement to police, Sanchez confessed to the crime of impersonating the younger O’Toole. He claimed that the previous week, while driving by the campus of the Anthro Massachusetts Institute of Technology (AMIT) in Cambridge, he saw Turner having a conversation with a pair of scientists while standing near a stack of large cardboard boxes marked “GROWTH HORMONE”. After several failed attempts to convince Terry to tip off FMZ Sports, the coyote stole his roommate’s unlocked phone while the young wolfhound was in a deep sleep.

The coyote bigfur was also quoted as saying “I regret nothing. The truth about Jake Turner needed to be exposed, and now everyone knows how that giant fox keeps growing.”

As of this writing, AMIT, SEA and Turner, through agent Blake Toivonen, have denied such a meeting between Turner and AMIT scientists ever took place. Each noted that the FBA schedule, which sees Western Conference teams like SEA play games almost every other day, would make such a meeting during the season “highly unlikely, if not impossible”.

Through his agent, Turner further denied that PEDs have anything to do with his incredible rate of growth. Per Toivonen, “To suggest that my client’s increase in physical stature is caused by anything other than natural causes, which include sensitivity to natural growth hormone, is a blatant lie.”

For his part, Terry O’Toole personally apologized to Turner in his statement to police.

“To Jake, I know he’ll read this later, I’m sorry man. Looks like I learned why I need to lock up my phone the hard way. I didn’t believe Dick’s crazy story, I told him he was full of s*** and that there was no f***ing way I would tell FMZ that bulls***. I told him to f*** off. Obviously that didn’t work.

Seriously, I hope we can still be friends after this. You’re like a cousin to me man. Those summers when we were little…man, when was the last time anyone called you little, right?... and you and your mom would come over to Southie to visit…the time in middle school when I was pen pals with you for a class project, my classmates were so jealous (laughs). You’re a freak man, you’re awesome, and I know damn well steroids got nothing to do with that.”